Middle-aged mothers, like myself, are often caught in the whirlwind of parenting and can oftentimes feel like their identity is defined solely by their role as a mom. However, the journey of re-discovering oneself beyond motherhood is not only a transformative and empowering experience, it’s also important in keeping a balance in life. Yes, I know you love being a mother and everything it entails, but we can still love being mothers without it being our only identity. In this post, we'll explore how mid-aged mamas can find their unique identities, passions, and purpose outside the realm of parenting.
Embracing Personal Growth
As mid-aged mothers we often find that our children are becoming more independent, allowing us more time for personal growth and hobbies we may have left behind or didn’t have the time to pursue until now. This can be both exciting and scary. I know it is for me personally. However you feel, I encourage you to embrace this opportunity to explore new interests, take up hobbies, or even pursue further education. Personal growth is a key aspect of discovering (or rediscovering) one's identity. For me, starting this blog is a new hobby I have taken on. Truthfully, as a working mom I don’t have as much time to build this as I would like, but slow progress is better than no progress and I enjoy it tremendously when I actually have the time to sit down and write.
Reconnecting with Old Passions
Many mid-aged mothers had passions and interests before becoming parents. Mine was exercising. I loved how I felt mentally and physically when I was consistent in my exercise routine. Reconnecting with old passions can be incredibly fulfilling. We may not have as much time to dedicate to these passions as we did in the past, but making some time to enjoy our pre-motherhood interests can put us on the fast track to feeling like ourselves again.
Building a Support Network
I cringe everytime I hear the saying, “it takes a village to raise a family”, because I feel like it puts unnecessary pressure on moms to be part of a large community or support system. Yes, raising kids is easier when you have a support network, but it doesn't have to be as big as society leads us to believe. Building a support network of friends and fellow moms can provide a sense of belonging and shared experiences, but quality over quantity is often the best route. Remember the people you surround yourself and your child with will ultimately end up shaping how you parent and how your children behave in social situations. I suggest surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals who share you and your family’s values and who also have a desire to enjoy life beyond motherhood.
Self-Care and Mindfulness
Self-care is essential for rediscovering one's identity. Prioritizing self-care routines, which can include meditation, exercise, journaling, or simply taking time for yourself can help you reconnect with your inner self. You can’t pour from an empty glass and you definitely can’t enjoy rediscovering yourself if your mental health isn’t in the best place.
Setting Goals and Redefining Success
As we work on closing the chapter of being a mother to young children I encourage you to set goals for yourself. Whether it's starting a new career, traveling, or learning a new skill, having aspirations can give you a sense of purpose and direction outside of your motherly and wifely duties. Challenge the traditional notion of success. Your success doesn't have to be defined solely by career achievements or parental accomplishments.
Communicate with Your Partner
Open communication with your partners is crucial during this phase of your life. Discuss your desire to explore your identity beyond motherhood with your partner. A supportive partner can be a great source of motivation and encouragement. Having your partner understand your purpose for this journey in your life can also grow your relationship into a new phase.
Middle-aged mothers finding their identity outside of just being a mom is a journey of self-discovery, growth, and empowerment. It's a reminder that motherhood is just one facet of our multidimensional lives. By embracing personal growth, reconnecting with old passions, building a support network, practicing self-care, setting new goals, and redefining success, we can embark on a fulfilling journey of self-discovery that enriches our lives and the lives of our families. If mama ain’t happy, no one’s happy. ;)
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